Today I was given a Diet Pepsi at the concession stand. Today Xavier handed No. 2 UConn their first loss of the season. This is now a body built by Diet Pepsi

Lost to my 6 year old nephew 4-0 in FIFA today. I simply will NOT recover from this

Tom’s out with friends for the night. I’m playing Mario kart and listening to Taylor swift. It’s like I’m 16 again except I’m drinking a seltzer water instead of a coke

Found out you shouldn’t eat popcorn for A MONTH after getting your wisdom teeth out. If you need me I’ll be eating my body weight in popcorn before Saturday

5 days post surgery and I never realized how many crunchy snacks and foods I eat. I am WITHERING away on my diet of mashed potatoes, pasta, and pudding

This is now a wisdom teeth recovery thread: Today I eat in public for the first time, in front of my coworkers, while wearing poorly done foundation to try and hide my jaw bruising. Hoping I make a friend tho!!

It’s been 9 days since surgery. The crunchiest thing I’ve had to eat is a cucumber that I ate with my front teeth. Tom just told me I can’t have an Oreo yet. I know he’s right but I’m big mad.

Ugh. Why does my jaw still hurt. Why can’t I have popcorn yet. I love ice cream but damn I just want a bowl of crunchy dry cereal. Don’t text I’m feeling sorry for myself

Rihanna was fantastic but I also would have enjoyed her just singing Pon de Replay on repeat

I am pleased to report I’ve made great progress since this tweet. Yesterday I had some hint of lime tortilla chips. Huge success. Tonight I try Cocoa Puffs, the return of dessert cereal. We could be on pace popcorn by the weekend!!!!

I’ve had a tough day so I’ve decided today is the day for popcorn. It will either save the day or if it goes bad I’m already sad so it doesn’t ruin my day. Seems like a win either way

Caitlin Clark has recorded the first-ever triple-double in a Big Ten title game👏 Her 10th career triple-double is the most in Big Ten history and second-most in WBB history. Iowa Women's Basketball | Caitlin Clark

Tom has abandoned* me in my time of need** *is seeing cocaine bear with a friend **during the Big East semifinals

Tom made this gif. Maybe it will help

WHAT A GAME IN INDIANA‼️ 📺 ESPN2

More like March sadness 😢

Not sure if I’m more sad about the Colby Jones news or the Adam Baum news 🥺

Me texting my friends after the Iowa v South Carolina game: wow wow wow wow wow My dad texting me (and Tom) after the game: wow wow wow amazing Apple. Meet tree.

In the past two days I’ve sent my boss a High School Musical gif and a School of Rock gif. I think this is my peak

You mean to tell me I’m now stuck at home with COVID AND Nick Chubb is injured 😭