Me: This pizza is really good! Somebody Who Visited Italy With Their Family For A Week When They Were 14: *sighs* It’s fine...

Me: *trying to flush the toilet at a friend's house* Unflushable poop:

Extremely disappointed by the Taliban here

What should I eat rn?

cursed still image from an early 90s taco bell commercial where a woman eats the taco FROM THE TOP

This guy loves crimes

I should have been cast as Yoshi, given how many eggs I’ve shot out of my ass

Raised by the French

Gonna start charging my sleep paralysis demon rent

Not interested in any of the stress associated with the aftermath of murdering someone. Getting a new phone and camping? Not for me.

I clog my pores like I’m filling in a scantron

✌️

“There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.” -H S Thompson

Just picked some orange and pink roses............do you grow them...........have you ever rubbed a wet rose on your face?