She makes my heart race like cocaine, mellows me out like Mary Jane

Custom ordered sterling money clip. Hold your Benjamins and stripper singles in style

This gets funnier each time I watch it

The masculine urge to clear the house, in the middle of the night, in nothing but my underwear.

I think they should open a hunting season on mustangs. I know tons of people that would apply for tags. Talk about turning a negative into a positive: -Properly manage populations -Help out thousands of ranchers -Increased revenue for the states Win Win Win

They respond on snap but leave you on delivered over text 🤢🤢🤢🤢

You mine, I’m yours and we single

No, but I’m game with fighting with some vegans.

It doesn’t matter if you’re tall, short, fat, lean, rich, or poor because at the end of the day… It’s night.

The Killer Cowboy©️ Coyote lives don’t matter

You know what the secret of turning $40 into $400 is? Put $40 worth of fuel in your car and drive to work

1-800-fuck-off

Told her to fight her demons & the bitch started swinging on me

Everyone: she’s a walking red flag. Don’t waste your time. Me: I like to win and this is capture the flag baby 🚩🚩

Been wearing starched jeans for 5 years now. There is no way I could go back 🤮

I wake up go to work, go home, eat dinner alone, go to sleep, repeat.

You can go a long ways with a smile. You can go a lot further with a smile and a gun

Yeah, my mental health ain’t great but I’ve kept the wolves away.

Eminem getting ready to perform at the Super Bowl halftime show. #HalfTimeShow #SuperBowl

Yes. It’s a federal offense under the laws of man