javier. (@drunkscx) 's Twitter Profile
javier.

@drunkscx

'' an angel's smile is what you sell. you promise me heaven then put me through hell. ''

ID: 3011103016

calendar_today01-02-2015 21:57:24

1,1K Tweet

588 Followers

765 Following

Brandon the Cow (@brampersandon_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

WIFE: what happened to us? is all our magic gone? HUSBAND: *removes his seemingly empty top hat & pulls out divorce papers* TA DA!

David Hughes (@david8hughes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

[to girl at the bar] "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough--" "Enough to break--" "ENOUGH TO NOT INTERRUPT ME MAYBE? Fuck. Forget it."

David Hughes (@david8hughes) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Me: dude calm down. You're seriously telling me I'm the first person to ever take a shit in your hat? Arresting officer: shut the fuck up