Detach. They had time, just not for you.

my heart is fucking useless without you . it’s just a dull beat that doesn’t fucking matter to me . rip it out of my fucking chest and eat it for all i care . at least it would be of use then ..

you were the fucking title . i thought you were my heroine . my love . my life . my world . my everything . what do i do with my fucking self when i was //only// alive to find and love you ?

i will never love again . my heart belongs to you even though you don’t fucking want anything to do with me

& actions don’t mean shit either until there’s solid support and PROOF of change . you can do something different for a week & still not be different . apology without change is just manipulation .

I NEBER THOUGHT YOU WOULD BETHE CATALYST TO MY GODDAMN WORLD BREAKING I NEVER THOUGHT IT WOULD END LIKE THIS — I WAS SO HAPPY I WAS EXCITEDAND THRILLED FOR LIFE . I WANT IT BACK I WANT YOU BACK PLEASE WHATEVER GOD IS OHT THERE , HEAR ME !!! FUCKING HEAR ME …

me sleeping on my fucking floor for the past week . just cuz i can feel your hands on my skin , your warmth engulfing me , i can’t sleep in my bed . you have taken it hostage with your ghost .

i wish i would’ve never got the chance to love you so fiercely .. Maybe then , MAYBE then , we wouldn’t be like this . we would have a weird friendship still , we’ve always loved each other , but at least you would be in my life . I didn’t JUST lose a lover I lost my best friend

you wouldn’t be the one that got away

& I’ve begged whatever god that I don’t believe in .. to just bring you home to me .

i isolate so often cuz it’s already such a wreck inside of my brain , if I don’t understand my own shit , what makes me think anyone else will understand either . and it’s like , a lot of the time , I just blank on how to convey how I fucking feel too . like emotion block or smth

to the point where my friends actually have thanked me for opening up to them . they were crying , just over and over again , thanking me for finally opening up . i don’t like to talk cuz what’s the point anymore

in another life , I would make you stay

hardly handling it

worshipped what could have been , worshipped what was , and actually cherished what the fuck we had . I regret not loving you harder , but I regret loving you at all anymore .

i pushed all of my feelings down , to make YOU comfortable . I pushed all of my shit down , just to keep you around . Just to have a fucking TASTE of the home i thought i had found ..