on my 26th birthday, i wrote I Took A Pill in Ibiza…10 years ago. The song became popular several years after i wrote it. Yesterday i celebrated my 36th birthday. i feel proud to look at the song lyrics and know that NONE of them are true anymore. I’ve grown into a completely

Amy Schumer responds to all of the online comments about her appearance: “Thank you so much for everyone’s input about my face. I’ve enjoyed feedback and deliberation about my appearance as all women do for almost 20 years. And you're right, it is puffier than normal right now.

Most underrated Disney movie ? I’ll start:

At this hearing, I stand before my fellow members of The Tortured Poets Department with a summary of my findings. Album tonight. Fortnight music video tomorrow at 8pm et. taylor.lnk.to/thetorturedpoe…

this is all eeyore really needed fr

*burrito

bae sorry im in a bad mood i heard too many sounds at once and it upset me

According to my husband, once you hit 30, crocs are perfect for any occasion.

how it started how it’s going

me at a restaurant acting like i didn’t google the menu 3 days ago

every city in pennsylvania is named like its 1892

Jon Bellion’s recording contract has been reversed, and he is working on new music!

Pirates DFA Jalapeno Hannah; she was one race away from receiving a new purse per her contract incentives. More in sports.

And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home

White people be like well we're getting our steps in

Let’s bring back subtweeting, for funsies