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Every day waking up to see how the Windies have got on in New Zealand

Refusing to believe anything you're told, doesn't make you cleverer than the rest of us. Recognising the times when you are actually being told the truth is a crucial skill.

“Ma’am what happened to you?” “I got maced.” 😂😂😭😭 x.com/WhatsTrending/…

Pretty sure that if they let girls go to Eton our prime ministers would be less fucking weird.

The wintery scene of #Edinburgh last night from Salisbury Crags. I had just taken the previous shot when this couple appeared through the snow. A quick question of “Would you guys mind being in a photo” was gratefully responded with “Yeah sure!”. Thank you! #visitscotland

RT if you think Keir Starmer should invite Jeremy Corbyn back into the Parliamentary The Labour Party Party and apologise to him for harassing and persecuting him for no reason.

1st test end of day 2: Eng 1st innings 555-8 3rd test end of day 2: Game over #ENGvsIND

is there a worse commentator than Graeme Swann #INDvsENG

So if the Government is going to take over Liverpool due to corruption, who is going to take over Westminster?

Susan! My bowl is fucking empty!!!

“Were you a CONTAINER ship or were you a CONTAINED ship?”

Gates: "I want to help fund a vaccine." Internet: "No way! You'll use it to secretly embed us with brain chips!" Musk: "I literally want to embed people with brain chips." Internet: "Cool! What credit cards to you accept?"

You can only retweet this if you know exactly how it feels to have this rig.

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If you were constantly telling people who disagree with you about crypto to “have fun staying poor” then don’t complain that they aren’t being sympathetic now #Crypto #BTC