Thinking of a new email signature other than "best". You'll never take me alive, Nate

i can’t wait for my psych analysis (spotify wrapped)

glockamole

Not the Goat and mini Horse 🤣🤣🤣

yogurts should come in a five pack not four pack or make the work week four days

getting the bartenders attention by slamming my head against the bar like a gavel

The amount of butter in my mashed potatoes could only be described as reckless

don't care + didn't ask + i see beauty in things you wouldn't even begin to ponder

shaking the micro plastics around in my head like a snow globe

Y’all are afraid to be corny. Not me. I live life on the cob

My thesis helps to create a gap in the literature and regress previous discussions on this question

I give a fuck therefore I am

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a fucking second

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating Stupid Stupid Stupid

“You can just download the app to pay for parking” what if I blow up every single car in this lot rn

Drip check

my first word was "i have a gun"