David (@davidsmyth98) 's Twitter Profile
David

@davidsmyth98

get yourself a relationship as strong as an LCBO bag

ID: 4471677022

calendar_today13-12-2015 15:41:19

194 Tweet

46 Followers

39 Following

David (@davidsmyth98) 's Twitter Profile Photo

The real secret of Christmas is that mall Santa is always wearing juicy couture track pants but we don’t know cause he’s always sitting

David (@davidsmyth98) 's Twitter Profile Photo

On the plus side think of all the other apocalypse options we could have had: -Meteor - Going out the same way as a bunch of lizards? Not a vibe. -Robots - Getting done in by a toaster oven? Not a vibe. -Climate change - Dying from something avoidable? Not a vibe.

Dr Mary Hitchman (@maryhitchman) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My partner feeds the local birds from the kitchen window, and this morning I heard him saying to them: ‘Yes, I suppose everyone is hungry and upset after the storm.’