After three days of shock therapy I am sad to say that I am still afraid of spiders. Possibly less so however

The real secret of Christmas is that mall Santa is always wearing juicy couture track pants but we don’t know cause he’s always sitting

Bowl cuts are the most powerful hairstyle don’t @ me

Today I taught my parents about mukbangs and ASMR. Mom was a fan of ASMR but neither enjoyed the mukbangs

Is the Easter Bunny Santa’s fursona?

Literature classes are just bookclubs you pay to attend

I feel so blessed that all the “see you next year” New Years jokes can be upgraded to “see you next decade.”

In class essays are the devil’s playground

When the curd squeaks 😩

Anyone know when COVID-20 is coming out? I’m getting bored of the COVID-19 memes

On the plus side think of all the other apocalypse options we could have had: -Meteor - Going out the same way as a bunch of lizards? Not a vibe. -Robots - Getting done in by a toaster oven? Not a vibe. -Climate change - Dying from something avoidable? Not a vibe.

SERIOUSLY considering a quarantine bowl cut

Some of y’all need to wake tf UP

I would like every man to stay the fck away from me at all times ty ❤️

The Grinch never hated Christmas he hated capitalism

My partner feeds the local birds from the kitchen window, and this morning I heard him saying to them: ‘Yes, I suppose everyone is hungry and upset after the storm.’

St. Patrick’s day is for the green eyed bitches it’s your time to shine ohh also the Irish