"Wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are." —Anonymous via Momentum Dash

"If most of us are ashamed of shabby clothes and shoddy furniture, let us be more ashamed of shabby ideas and shoddy philosophies." —Albert Einstein via Momentum Dash

#PresidentialDebate2020

"If you get tired, learn to rest, not to quit." —boob kissin

Trump's hair is now white. His face is still orange.

Madam Vice President-Elect Kamala Harris by me for the cover of American Vogue February issue vogue.com/article/kamala…

amzn.asia/6GnxvYE

We mistakenly sent out an empty test email to a portion of our HBO Max mailing list this evening. We apologize for the inconvenience, and as the jokes pile in, yes, it was the intern. No, really. And we’re helping them through it. ❤️

Bit of #Numerology for Fox Footy #BOUNCE

The first "Canberra is a GHOST TOWN oh wait this photo was taken three weeks ago" tweet was very funny, the second was still mildly entertaining, but the subsequent 147 on the same theme are slowly awakening something murderous and terrible deep inside me

Some personal news: for a while now I've been wanting to exert more influence as a creative, so I've decided to go client side, in the legal department

Thank you Tame Impala for spending 619 minutes with me this year on Spotify. You are my #1. #SpotifyWrapped open.spotify.com/artist/5INjqkS…

We've been inundated with complaints that we haven't uploaded Bob Katter's gay marriage speech, so here it is in all it's unhinged glory

Just a hint of lemon.

Thanks to the Aus Automobile Assoc 'Data Saves Lives' campaign, the Australian Government has now committed to releasing vital road trauma data. It aims to improve road safety, increase transparency, and ensure more accountable use of public funds. #FIAMembers 👉 fia.com/news/aaa-advoc…

If you replace the "W" in "where" "what" and "when" with "T" you get answers to the questions.

They say Africa changes you—guess I’m head and shoulders above where I started.