I’ve decided I’m ready for my next toxic love affair

you all HATE ME FOR NO REASON 😔

i don’t fuck w astrology less bc it’s a demonstrable pseudoscience & more bc everything is just like AQUArius you are an AIR sign & you SUCK, everyone fucking HATES YOU & you do have to DIE ALONE!!

Praying for a woman a foot taller than me to spit in my mouth

my sister introducing me to my other sister’s new boyfriend as “the notoriety bitch” 🫦

i have never foot guyed this hard but i aspire to everyday 🥹

i’m feeling extremely vulnerable rn if any lesbians want to tell me what to do forever

me whenever i go camping & a man tries to start the fire: I WAS IN THE BRICKSHIT BOONIES BLOWING STUFF UP W MATCHES SO MUCH THEY PUT ME IN BOY JAIL AT 15!!!!!!!!

if i knew i would be considered hot someday i would never have bothered developing a personality or a sense of humor what a fucking waste

this same guy kept trying to get me to do a duet with him at karaoke but I’M LOW so i was just like no bro i don’t do girl parts & he was like oh lol i get it, a double entendre 😏 & i had to say very loudly NO A SINGLE ENTENDRE 😒 don’t put that heterosexual shit on me!!

SHE’S NOT TONE DEAF SHE’S JUST LOW

& can i get that in writing + cc the director 🫦

auto theft is out of control. if anyone sees my van pls call me asap 😔

hello again

some of you are very in love with me

okay why don’t you marry me abt it???

real horror fan

imagine i’m 5’3 w boots on & i’ll make us coffee 🥲