i love this dog with all of my heart but she truly is a ⚪️ woman: she has severe allergies, IBD, kennel cough, and now a UTI 🫥

my maga upstairs neighbor is always yelling crying and slamming things like a child and this is what i imagine he looks like when he’s verbally abusing his wife, arms and all

this is the only thing im celebrating tomorrow

he’s an 8 but he never changes his smoke detector battery

what the girlies who want you to grow a peach don’t tell you: - you literally have to hold onto s/t while wiping now - you jump 3-4 jean sizes in a matter of months so none of your stuff fits - more peach, ripping big ones - harder to scratch - lower back pain. so much pain

were they non-binary and… you know what? nvm

10 retweets and ill play “we cry together” when my boss asks me to play some “jams” in the office

ask.fm walked so ngl.link could run

not dj aubrey making it to the house playlists 😩

help me raise funds for abortion clinics in Nevada and Texas!! More details on my IG @/femmefloradesign RT to spread the word!

my pussy really popped off with this sushi bake 😩

this packaging is giving me “ally ✊✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾✊🏿” i think a more wittier way to say this would’ve been “pencils of color” LMAOO

when i send “🥐🙇🏾‍♂️” it means STAWP you almost made me drop my CRWOISSANT

there’s a whole ass adult lady moaning in the gym while exercising ma’am it’s 9 in the morning please

dude some lady just stuffed her nose in my washi tape and smelled hella hard thinking it was a bath bomb MA’AM 💀💀

putting out to the universe that i will be good at shuffling by edc 2023 :-)

petition to change Zula’s name to Naga??? the resemblance is uncanny

my million dollar idea: make a “venmo me for feet pics” totem like this for festivals so i never have to work again in my life

cute date ideas that lead to ********* after: taking the clifton strengths test together and discussing results after

safe to say dis came true :D