Well. We hope you aren’t travelling with us. Due to high wind, Dawlish is blocked off. Network Fail have told us that they will do their best to ensure a repeat of the 2013/2014 Dawlish incident occurs. Enjoy travelling with us, this will make your journey miserable

We was only kindly offering them Rail Replacement boats!

We've heard from a friend that a train of ours is so packed people are sitting in the bicycle spaces. Good job from us!

Due to political decisions, we will not be serving Tamworth or mid Bedfordshire. We are not sorry for any passengers affected.

BREAKING: We have purchsed 2 Adelantes from Grand Cancel to make our services even more unreliable.

We're working with Southern Failway and @SWFailway to cancel all trains from Southampton. This also means none of their trains will run from Southampton.

The fact people find us worse than the actual accounts that impersonate (and scam customers) is concerning. People also think we do the same scam thing, which we would never scam people.

This account will be unmonitored until further notice. We thank everyone for supporting us over the period this account has existed. ^ JS

We've been busy crashing Grand Cancel Adelantes whilst we've been away, then fixing them with tape.

Good evening! A good service is running on all of our routes tonight, bar a few delays.

We're hiring quality condition Class 373 trains for our long distance trains from London Road Brighton to Brighton.

Good evening, there are currently no disruptions* on our network, but due to our awful service there will still be delays. * There may also be delays on the line to Paignton due to a small derailment as shown below.

Top tip Don't use trainline. Simple as.

Just a reminder there are NO trains on our utter shit network today due to ASLEF strike action. Not like we ran good trains anyway.

Oh I wonder why, looking at the past few days!

We aren't fake, just a parody mocking the service!

Turns out some other parodies are now causing drama, no wonder we barely post anymore.

I just thought I'd let you all know that I'm going to be posting a lot less on here and all the other accounts, I've been dealing with some issues with my mental health and I can't keep on top of all this, you're going to have to try travel with some other company.

#Shocking We have an super high 1.4 star rating on Trustpilot! That's even lower than last year!

Leaked footage of our headquarters Sadly due to my mental health and the fact this account is getting spammed with OF bot followers, there will be no more posts for the forseeable future.