An excerpt from my show, The Soon to be Cancelled Sketch Show, featuring @calebsaysthings. Find us on Facebook!

#TwitterMomentOfTheDecade

You have said some very relatable things... but nothing You’ve said has ever hit me so hard.

Ok hear me out............ Fall Guys Theme/ LFGD Remix featuring dillonfrancis chris melberger and timthetatman👑. Can we make this happen? Fall Guys

小さなシンセサイザー奏者

#gusandeddy if you could choose any non-sensical, non-human object to be the next president of the united states, what would you choose? I would choose a first edition holographic Charizard pokemon card.

in 2023 Phoebe Bridgers is gonna drop her third album & the opening track will be about hooking up in the car while waiting in line to get vaccinated at dodger stadium and it’s gonna make me cry

Such a garbage take by Usher because T-Pain took something and made it super popular. Usher ended up biting that sound for OMG so idk why he's whining.

Had a dream last night that Novo Amor released a new song called “Yeti”. Woke up before I got the chance to hear it. Any chance I’m a psychic and predicted a very near future?

Bringing on the boys of Please Don’t Destroy is the best thing that SNL has ever done and I predict it is going to lead to a whole new level of success for the show. Everything they write / perform is comedy gold. Ben Marshall Martin Herlihy John Higgins

Also, a VERY close runner up for best thing SNL has ever done is SARAH SQUIRM. That Weekend Update sketch was hilarious.

Macho Man had an incredible answer when asked "Have you ever cried?"

Couldn’t decide between the Brown and Bone Variant or the 180g Black for the Razias Shadow vinyl … so I bought both. 🤷‍♂️ Near Mint Only Twin

I would turn back time each of the ten thousand instances a server at a restaurant says “Enjoy your meal!” And I respond with “You too!” This is the social equivalent to stubbing your toe… #IfICouldTurnBackTime

I think this whole “guys are always thinking of the Roman Empire” meme is funny and all, but I would wager to say guys think about Pirates and Cowboys way more often.

I’m gonna give 10 random people that repost this and follow me $25,000 for fun (the $250,000 my X video made) I’ll pick the winners in 72 hours

Have you ever wanted a chance at pulling a 1st Edition Charizard? Now YOU have a chance! From my personal collection, I'm Giving Away a HEAVY 1st Edition Base Set Pack valued at $11,000! Enter Here: rarecandy.com/giveaway

🚨GIVEAWAY!🚨 PSA 10 Umbreon! 1. Follow Me 2. Retweet This Winner announced on 3/31

Everyone should calm down. Ben Affleck is going to do a great job as Batman.