I SAID where’s the life filled with perfect scenarios that i’ve created in my head

Many young women and men make a living being a bartender. It’s actually a cool ass job. Also, considering we pay $1M dollars in taxes every time you board your jet to go to your Million-dollar resort. I mean, you could at least have some decency and not mock the lady.

I'm so sorry

are u okay bro? I’ve noticed u haven’t been going as hard in the motherfucking paint recently

They might have lost the game but that bears defense is SCARY

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I'm so bad at texting people back that when someone doesn't text me back I just be like "word I feel you"

As a Dungeon Master my default setting is that I failed my players.

All Parents watch this now!💪💯 LeBron James

wait till the end 😂

Spoke Spanish to the lady giving me my food today and her reaction was like

I'm staring at luzma as we speak 😍😍😍

Me, a server: Damn well they close in an hour and 45 mins so we'll have to go somewhere else.

me, reading my last minute paper to the class for a peer review.

i hope you all are ready for 10000 its always sunny tweets

Big mood

Fortnite with the boys - We're Garbage! twitch.tv/crackacody