Im at work and all i can think about is my island

me starting off my wedding vows like:

Stolen valor

This case has been haunting me for the last 2 years. It just never ends.

open.spotify.com/track/5SUVwHKm…

Im in at my desk choking myself with my bare hands in front of outlook

nobody wants to dress up and go get a cocktail anymore what’s up with that

Please put a lychee martini on your menus for the bad bitches.

I already know when they return my call that I’m gonna start crying

Me n who

Its done and resolved with a better outcome omg im gonna cry

Apple support is so annoying. Yes, please send my password reset to the icloud linked to the apple id that i forgot the password to. Im going to kms

I know my period is coming for sure cus i cried at other kids winning awards for their progress

Um should i throw nena a birthday party since shes turning 5?

how do i un-torta myself when i love drinking beer n eating good 😵‍💫

Everyone inviting me go to cool fun parties to drink and hangout and i decided to do dry June