Day 3: we haven’t eaten a single salad since we got here, had half a rueben and half a patty melt for breakfast also 3 cookies yesterday

Canadians 😏🇨🇦 I can spot ‘em from a mile* away! *3 feet away, once they’re close enough to ask for the “washroom” code

Scott asked if I could maybe sing a song other than Jaded by Aerosmith, but as God as my witness I don't know another song besides Jaded by Aerosmith

LISTEN UP!!! If my mom has EVER met you, even ONCE, and then at a LATER DATE I told her I was going to “HANG OUT” with you.... SHE TOLD ME to tell you “HI” from HER and I FORGOT 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️

tour is good but can’t wait to get home to my ceramics class I mean boyfriend

driving by Six Flags Magic Mountain and I gotta say some of those coasters look too steep! I hope you guys are being careful!

That next holiday coming up is a big one people!!!!!! you know what it is get ready to celebrate... RESPECTFULLY the day the Titanic sank

Miserable by Lit is my favorite grunge song

who the fuck does xfinity wifi think it is

I like my enamel pin maker because their website looks terrible and I’m emailing with the customer service rep about her foot surgery

must always stay vigilant in determining whether or not things are spiders

hmm just remembering in 2003 I gave my email address to a boy wearing rave goggles because he said he’d send me The Mark, Tom and Travis show and you know what I don’t think he ever did

I like when I ask a customer “do you want a little bag for that?” and they reply “do you have like a small paper pouch?” and then I get to say “yes, a little bag”

in 2012 i was phone dead/drunk sitting on a street corner at sxsw waiting for my friend to find me and walk home, I saw Todd Barry so I said “Todd Barry” and he stopped and talked to me for 3-5 minutes mostly about Bruce Springsteen. idk WAS it nice to meet ME???? probably not

I would like to be very good at drawing horses but I don’t understand how their legs work

maybe I should’ve saved this for my personal, every tweet a precious piece in the collection

watching the trailers before Matrix Resurrections and all I can say is hollywood fiiiiiiinally got my note, make more movies like The Mummy

another day, another mosquito bite preventing me from enjoying my life