skin cells after spending 800 hours repairing a drunken gash on your leg just to be torn off and flicked on the ground

Difference between being 24 and being 28

My roommate and I create a sort of two-person space station crew vibe in our apartment whenever our third, neurotypical roommate is at his 9-5

Who up building content management software, delivering data-driven solution systems

Easily the chillest Bond villain I’ve ever seen in my life

Who up stimming uncontrollably

I got into a conversation with two chefs about television and mind control tonight

I always will need to buy a pathetic little bag of chips every time I’m outside

Lots of science that goes into making a larger bomb than usual

I yelled really loudly when the bomb went off in oppenheimer

Apparently losing 50% hearing in your right ear can be a cold symptom

I threw my wallet into a bonfire just to see what would happen to my life

Inside all of us there are these two competing bodegas

Had a dream I owned a vegan food truck called crappy vagina

I eat candy bars walking down the street now. Like Cartman from south park

Only real heads know about this toothpaste hack

holy fuck

I like how one of nathan fielders reoccurring bits is just grabbing money or documents from people really fast