Eee, gan on #macca man pet. Eightee yeeaz eurld and yerz still knocking it oota the park, pet. #Glastonbury2022

Fabuliss set Paurl man pet. Yerz pleyed a blindah. Pure talent an genius. #livinglegend #Macca #glastonburyfestival #beatles

And in the end, the luv yerz take is equal tuh the luv yerz make.#Macca #livinglegend #Glastonbury

Eee, High Nonsense Fantasy. Theeze geiz aw truly cuttin' edge in a litaree sense. Anheeaz a free book tuh prove it.

All City Traders put on suicide watch following reports Chris Grayling appointed as new Chancellor. #Johnson #resignations

Eee, Ah’m watchin the politishun gadgie deein The Testickills a Doom. Leik, Ah wudden fancee deein that noo man woman man pet. #ImACelebrity

#ImACelebrity Eee, bad luck Matt, pet. “Next celebrity reality show, please.”

Eee, an awey wuh gan again. Summaz not reelee Summah til Fawst Neet’s wurruz, pet. An what cood be bettah than a birruv Sabailyuss. Finlandia too - a one a mei veree favritz. Then Gregg an some Britten tuh falleur lataz. Lovalee. #BBCProms

Eee, pet. Ah'd eurnlee wen awey faw a bit, leik an Twittaz torned intuh sumthin caalled X. What's thar aall aboot? An, hei! Wawz wor littil blue bawd ganned? #XTwitter #TwitterBirdForever

Eee, Summaz ephemeral beautee once again bids uz adieu an sees uz arrive at #proms last neet.Katie Derham Noo aall we’ve got ahead of wor is Autumn and Wintaz chill. Sad izzen it? Meind, we’ll have a canny kneez-up when the Elgar an Juruzlim kicks aff. Champion, pet.

Eee, an thawr it iz. A birruv Blake, the National Anthem, erld lang syne an Ah’ll see yerz aall next July. Cheeaz geiz an Happee Christmiss. #lastnight Katie Derham #bbcp he roms

Thiv asked uz leurdz a teimz tuh do #ImACelebrity Burrah deurn’t wanna eat a plate uv kangarooz bollocks aw wallabeez screuturmz an that. So Ah telt ITV, “Thanks but no thanks, pet. If Ah want a real challenge Ah’ll wait for wor Gorls Alloodz reunion tour gigz next yeeah.

Eee pet. Sad news wur the lovalee Brigit Forsyth passin. Ah’m watchin the ‘74 Christmas Special an laughin’ oot realee lood. Haw Petah Pan ootfit waz amazin, man, woman, man, pet, man. Champion. #WhateverHappenedToTheLikelyLads

Eee, mebbes Ah shurrive put mei Aphrodite At The Wataheurl up tuh the judges an Ah just meirrive won the neet, man woman man pet. #TurnerPrize

Well, tha wuz interestin, pet. Ah had me accoont locked bei mistah Musk coz a one uv iz rerubots went mentil an deceeded ah wuz just a bairn. Sill, nevahmeind. Ah'm back noo an Ah'll mebbes stawt tweetin aall ovah again. Letz see.

Been checking’ oot progressive rock az a genre. Eee, it’s champion. So Ah gotuz a synthasiza an begin work on mei concept album az soon az Ah can come up with a concept. It’ll be mint when itz aall finished. Ah’ll mebbes perform it on ice with the Phillamonik Orcastra.

“Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun; Conspiring with him how to load and bless With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eves run” Eee, man pet. Noo the leaves is stawted falling’ yerz cannat beat a birra Keats this teim uv yeah.

Eee, Ah’m lovin this new C5 drama. Keinda leik Cathetinre Cookson except neebuddeez dyin’ uv TB, Scawlett Feevah aw Scorvey. It’s mint, pet. #Hardacres

Peepil’s askin uz what Ah’m up tuh theese dees noo Ah’m not a Twittah sensation. Well, Ah gottuz a new Fendah Strattacastah an Ah’m channelin a bittuva Pink Floyd veib. on.soundcloud.com/tBr9WpimiQzRnQ…

Hei geiz. A one uv mei marras is a canny guitawrist, leik. An he's got a leurda choonz peursted on his SoondClood seit. Heeaz an 'omage tuh Jimmi Hendrix an Robin Trower that eez recawded. Itz mint man, woman, man, pet 🤟🤟 soundcloud.com/jondee-guitar/…