The most difficult thing about having a kitten is all the grueling horseplay.

Everyone on that submarine is going to drown in cum before they run out of air.

55 Nouns 55 Verbs 55 Adjectives 55 Prepositions 55 Adverbs 100 Conjunctions 100 Gerunds 100 Abbreviations 100 Interjections 100 Onomatopoeias 55 Determiners 55 Acronyms 55 Place Names 55 Participles

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I’ve been seeing a lot of people wearing Bass Pro Shop hats lately. I just saw a couple wearing matching hats. Why? What does this mean?

oh my god

I’ve never seen as many Shirt Brothers and Sisters in one place as at the Cubs’ ITYSL night at Wrigley Field!

New York guys love telling you what elementary school they went to. You’re a grown ass man, nobody cares that you went to PS 109 or whatever.

Nothing like a strong cup of coffee to get my anxiety pumping on a hot day in the city I’ve grown to hate.

Highlights from an Old Country Buffet training video.

Driving with the windows down and the AC on high is my favorite thing in the world right now

i could go for an ice cold miller genuine draft right about now

It’s wild that Bert Kreischer played the Gorge Amphitheater. What’s even wilder is that was probably the first show a bunch of people saw at that venue. Instead of seeing your favorite band, you see some shirtless drunk that is buds with Joe Rogan? Life is so stupid.

It’s easier avoiding monsters in Tears of the Kingdom than it is walking 2 blocks to go to the coffee shop

Is there a bloodhound but for jizz? A cumhound?

It’s officially pants season again for non mouth breathers

I having one of those days where the fentanyl zombies kind of seem like they have it all figured out

Couples that call each other “babe” make me feel gross

I just experienced a prix cum. I jizzed in my pants after seeing a race car.

I just got a menjection. It’s an injection just for the fellas