*trying to get a girl to feel protective of me* i was killed yesterday *realizing thats too much* but i lived though

For a 36 year old man im…. oddly kawaii 😅

It is time to come out and say it. Every one should feel sorry for me.

Crying to completion

The rumours that I have undisclosed "offshore" bank accounts in the event of my "escape" are entirely false. Firstly, I would only bank with space-based institutions, which, by the way, are supported by ATMs on Earth. Do not think Spacenoids so primitive.

being in a relationship for 16 years and never actually labelling it is actually extremely based

A day with the Muppets would be really transformative for me.

Say less

something is constantly happening to me

my favorite thing about me is i always say normal things and do normal things and act normal. and ive never strayed from that

who up persisting despite it all

if i was a horse you guys would never catch me

What an eventful year... all we can do is pray. (Sponsored by Anaheim Electronics)

Year of the Horse? A smart and steadfast animal... Happens only once every 12 years. Grasp it by the reins.

Or bareback it.

うまのセーター

I lied there’s no sex can you tuck me in

t shirt that says do not have sex with me no matter how much I say I want it

There is a disharmony in my heart.................

I was told I look more like my mother...