I must have deleted my twit back in the day. 13 years doesn’t add up. Do you remember when you joined X? I do! #MyXAnniversary

Comes back to twitter to find what’s ~ missing ~ in her life

Aaron Gordon does a kick flip on insta and all of the sudden I can’t think straight

THE LIGHTS ARE GOING UP ON THE PLAZA

“And then they got really upset when I walked into the bedroom with a kitchen knife. I wasn’t going to kill anyone, I just wanted to slash the mattress”

Grief is a faster teacher than joy

TAKING MYSELF ON DATES BC IT'S 2025 AND I ENJOY MY OWN COMPANY

if you're happy and you know it thank your meds

Tell me why I did a deep dive into figuring out what Elizabeth Bennet’s sign would have been last night

This offer still stands.

it's not even halloween yet why am i online shopping for a christmas tree right now

Bought a solo ticket to see one of my faves next month. In the era of taking myself on dates and having the best time.

Kids today will never understand

Me tweeting my audience

Living with a man sounds nice only because the only living being more indecisive than me is my kitten and I need someone to let her into my room when she decides it’s time.

Fuck it, I’ll have a dirty martini

Being awake at five am when you’ve actually gone to bed is wild

“I haven’t banged anyone in this room” waits 30 seconds “just kidding”

Noting for historical reference: I’ve showered two days in a row.

45 days (cali) sober today so that's cool