we've reached the "ok thanks summer I've had enough so we can move on to football and cool temps" part of the summer

Jason Kelce is the Barbara Walters of our generation

it’s so fucked up that normal ass houses cost literally 1 million dollars. like normal size normal location not super impressive in any way just house.jpg one million american dollars

FORGET EVERYTHING TAYLOR IS ENGAGED

travis before proposing:

not that i don’t wanna get bejeweled w my showgirls but pls know im about to pull up to the release party like this

she put down that feather quill and picked up a thong !!!

nobody: my brain: ELIZABETH TAYLOR i ain’t gotta knock on wood to keep it 100 on the land, the sea, the sky tone deaf and hot let’s f-ing OFF HERRRRR like a toy chihuahua barking at me from a tiny purse you can call me honey if you want oOh OH OH OH mmmmmm know a hard rock

Kalani: “AND BRING ME THE FINEST CAMEL IN ALL THE LAND”

Some of you need to be visited by the ghost of quit emailing me so much before Christmas

This is it, folks. We have officially reached that point in December where all we can do is say a silent prayer and put all our faith in the Amazon drivers.

January doesn't start til Monday btw... For now we're in the Upside Down.

Just sent off an email saying warmest “retards” instead of “regards”

This is still twitter btw I refuse to call it by its stripper name

HomeGoods employee placing stickers: “Right here will ruin it.”

The older I get, the tighter the lids on jars are becoming.

My tax dollars better be used to fix that guys teeth

Ballet needs to be in the Olympics. I’m serious. That was athletic as hell.

Davis County, Salt Lake County, Utah County