I love to hear someone whistling a tune.

2021, I'm predicting Zombies.

Wake me up when the good guys win.

My 9yo told me that a nude beach sounds uncomfortable and I can’t stop laughing.

Kinda scary how much I have in common with a potato.

Got a universal remote. This changes everything.

If you could pick a random celebrity to just show up in your house uninvited I doubt it would be Guy Fieri or Kelly Clarkson.

Weird how I wake up every day ready for bed.

Just buy an Amazon truck so you can park wherever the hell you feel like.

Who is in charge of figuring out how many people are traveling this weekend and how the hell did they do it?

Why do they offer services for cheaper when you go to cancel? Shouldn’t they be giving you the lowest price to begin with?

Happy Leftovers Day!

I'd wait in a line for you.

Imagine a world where no one hated anything…

Let’s make 2023 the year you keep your crazy ass thoughts to yourself!

To all the people I’ve lost touch with over the years: It was all your fault.

Dear Miami HEAT fans, Please chant “Angel Reese” (clap clap, clap clap clap) nice and loud for Draymond Green tomorrow. Poke the bear, Miami.