there needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they're doing

hoping no one did this with him already

daddy’s little repo boy is a secret rowdy

time 4 work

i wish it was socially acceptable to dm someone Hey why did you and your partner break up

fuck a shower beer. it’s shower gyoza time

having muppet autism is so scary bc the muppets are very mainstream at a surface level but if you know any more than the core muppets that’s not normal and you’re weird so you must remember that you are the outlier

cerberus says...

that freaky fat femme will save you btw

Being a guy who loves paprika is a lonely life, but when I run into a fellow preak freak, we connect on a deeper level.

Being a pee girl in an office setting is so embarrassing. Like oh there Amber goes to take a piss again. Maybe they think I’m just a big shitter. But I chug water all day long and have to pee regularly. Nobody ever goes to the bathroom as often as I do in office settings and it

don’t ask me the color of anything when darlene comes on the screen

Turning up the car seat warmer so high I can feel the grill marks forming on my ass

why doesn’t the big one eat the little one #dragrace

i understand and respect my cat’s right to 5am zoomies, but i do not understand or respect why they need to be *on* me

lesbians ♡ Darlene Mitchell

lesbians love darlene mitchell