Me outside of my moms room at 9pm to tell her I need a poster board for tomorrow:

“Sorry kids, but daddy can’t put you to bed on Thursday night. I’ll be in Pittsburgh dressed as a Bengal Tiger watching 20 year olds get jobs.”

I love Mississippi State-LSU baseball games because the two fan bases care more than anybody, talk massive amounts of shit during the game and then go get drunk together after it’s over.

Diego Pavia gonna be playing left field for the Savannah Bananas.

Rude of the Ravens to invite Diego Pavia to their mini-camp instead of their regular-size camp.

"YoU aReN't AlWaYs GoNnA hAvE a CaLcUlAtOr In YoUr PoCkEt" -Lying ass 90s teachers

Mike Vrabel’s time in horny rehab

Brendan Sorsby being driven to gambling therapy.

Dianna Russini in front of her husband at the dinner table after they tell her they made her sandwich MIKE’S WAY

as soon as you start marching in lockstep with your wife, life gets exponentially easier all the old tropes about "the old ball and chain" that were baked into our brains from sitcoms growing up don't need to be your life spot on from Big Cat

“Babe, I’m only gonna have a couple” 13 beers and 22 cigarettes later:

I watched this video everyday an it changed the way i view life

Come on man 🙏🏽

That tuna is worth more in Tokyo than the boat she's standing on. The fish hanging there is a bluefin. Probably 500 to 700 pounds based on the proportions. At a New England dock she gets $4 to $12 per pound for it. Somewhere between $2,000 and $8,400 for a fish that weighs as

The story about Duncan Robinson’s brother is brutally sad.

Seth MacFarlane, creator of Family Guy, had been booked on American Airlines Flight 11 on the morning of September 11, 2001, a routine transcontinental service from Boston to Los Angeles. The night before, he had been at his alma mater, Rhode Island School of Design, giving a

Look at the paws on this cat. I'm staying home.

Tootsie Roll’s recipe from 1896 requires that a batch of the previous day be incorporated into the new batch This means that each piece has a trace of the original 1896 Tootsie Roll