There is no risk of #uksnow this week.

THE WORLD’S ON FIRE WIN A CARAVAN

Bean bag chairs are venus fly traps for anyone over 35

Remain, Leave, don’t care? You’ve got to watch this. This is the entire British Establishment, from Left to Right and everything in-between, telling us that the referendum result would be respected. No ifs, no buts. And here we are, utterly cheated.

If you have Josh.’s number can you please call and text him urgently.

To the customer who accidentally got given a bottle of Chateau le Pin Pomerol 2001, which is £4500 on our menu, last night - hope you enjoyed your evening! To the member of staff who accidentally gave it away, chin up! One-off mistakes happen and we love you anyway 😉

It would be hilarious if it were not so serious. Essential viewing. Please share. #GetBrexitDone

OMG this fella 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Teach your children about socialism by making one of them clean the bathroom, pay them £10. Next, take back £7 and give it to the sibling who didn't help with the cleaning. Take note of how long your child remains a socialist.

Brexit, actually.

Hilarious someone sent me this.

Women! You will no doubt have been gifted, over the years, approximately 15,000 gift soaps as panic-buy last-minute presents over the years. Guilt will have compelled you to keep them all, rendering one drawer an overwhelming grotto of bergamot and lavender. Now is your moment.

Purchase limits place on shops in light of the Carona virus panic buying. ASDA: 2 hand sanitisers and a 4 pack of toilet rolls TESCO: 1 hand sanitiser , 500g of rice and 4 pack of toilet rolls ALDI: a MIG welder, a pink sports bra, 2 trumpets, 1 spare wheel for a barrow..

Fucking shameful. That's all.

so no one was gonna tell me that walruses can whistle i just had to find this out on my own?

This is a #pandemic not a Bank Holiday. What bit of non-essential travel means coming from across the UK, potentially with CV, to climb Snowdon; strip local shops of food; put Mountain Rescue at risk at least twice today & pressure on a limited NHS; & ignoring social distancing?

A gentle reminder that all your panic buying will be going out of date soon. Enjoy your 36 egg omelette, you fat wankers.

ok am i hormonal or is this the best thing to come out of facebook

Amid all the worrying news, this made me smile. Glorious.

Me: What's the wifi password? Barman: You need to buy a drink first. Me: Okay, I'll have a coke. Barman: Is Pepsi okay? Me: Sure. How much is that? Barman: £3. Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password? Barman: You need to buy a drink first. No spaces, all lowercase.