.Sam’s Club apparently customer service isn’t part of the training at sams. I needed some change to pay my part of a purchase and was told they couldn’t give me change. Really helpful.

Dear The Academy, it’s time. #GilbertHostsTheOscars

Dear The Academy, I will jerk off 2 guys at the same time (of different races) and Make Them CUM while hosting your boring show in order to heal our nation.

I chose the #RIGHT Virgin Media ❤️ Christmas cracker. Fingers crossed! 🤞🎁

I'm playing a game called HQ Trivia! You should play too. Use my code "king_walking_log" to sign up hqtrivia.com

Imho weezer’s cover of “where the hood at” by DMX is a little out of touch

I’m starting this ground swell - the people’s movement - I want #BillMurray on the Joe Rogan EXPERIENCE!!! Please RT until your fingers bleed!

#TABCSunset will be heard again in the Senate Business & Commerce Committee (this time w/ amendment discussions on #BeerToGo, etc.) this Thursday. Then, it's on to a floor vote soon. Call, Tweet & Email your Senator in a few handy clicks with our NEW tool: actnow.io/craftpac

I rode on a subway!!!

Well look who showed up on my radio.... @HarvardHeadCase

Been telling my daughter to take this mask off for over 3 hours 💀 she’s not listening .

Nothing says #StraightUpTX like Whataburger®! RETWEET for a chance to win this prize pack that includes free Whataburger for a year. 🍔

This is so good. Tom Segura AKA Mr. Ladybug bert kreischer Kool-Aid Man

Hearing impaired pothead = high deaf

Good morning from Iowa! Tanner Cher Peter Piper

Good morning Tanner and Cher here’s our tree

Good morning Tanner how you doing???

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary