I just saw a KKK member at WaWa, I figured he’d be at a Sheetz

Life is a marathon. That's why every now and then you shit your pants

Unbelievable!! A black hockey player??!

Comedy! New dates folks! punchup.live/marknormand/ti…

Podcasts are like babies, they're too easy to create and not everyone should have one

Hey hey! Starting up a new CLIPS channel on Youtube! We'll be posting some fun stuff there so subscribe, queefs!! New clips are up now! Link in the subtweet!

mark normand @joelistcomedy @discountchuck

“I didn’t do it.” - cancer

nice thing about dating a doctor is if you wanna stop seeing them, you can just eat an apple

Hey @conanobrien ! We both guested on the @teamcoco show many times. We’d be honored if you popped in on wmbd tomorrow while you’re in nyc. mark normand Sam Morril

Mental health awareness month = March madness

he'll be adding a lotta strokes to his game

just make the entire table out of coaster

Having a treadmill at your house is a home run

And R. Kelly was just helping girls with jelly fish stings

Sometimes I wish I had cleavage so people wouldn't look me in the eyes

Pull those jeans up... mark normand enters the mommydome today along with Caitlin Campbell (@Hockeylife30)! youtu.be/AMke79oxaAo?fe…

Happy St Pats folks! zingers in Dublin! For tickets: pnch.lv/mn Comedy! ☘️🇮🇪

The Fightin’ Irish are the only nationality used for a sports team. There’s no “Abusive Italians!” or “Sneaky Mexicans!”