There’s nowt wrong with it, it’s just that it’s * 𝒉𝒊𝒔 name, and having seven hundred other Charlies to deal with is just. . . 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴.

That, or Liam, or the sixty different iterations of Mackenzie or Kayleigh. Fuckin’ hell.

Oh, well he’s got a five-year-old, so—. Yeah, he supposes. And ten times the paycheque, which is nice.

He’d never turn down a free brew. Cheers, mate.

Knackered dad noises. He’s spent the last few hours teaching Noah how to play football; now he just wants a brew and maybe a twelve-hour nap.

Well, at least he’s staying active, yeah? Better that than a lad that wants to do nowt but park his bod on the sofa.

Honestly, he’s marked so many papers today that they’re all starting to blur together—. He needs a bloody break.

. . .this is true. But hey, at least after an afternoon of football, he should be well and truly knackered. That’s the theory, anyway. ( Fuck knows he is. )

Sunday best. #seductivesunday.

Well, she’s not technically wrong.

To the 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙧𝙮. It’s just, well – it’s not exactly a word * 𝐡𝐞 would use to describe himself.

That so, is it? Perhaps she can tell him all about it later, after Noah’s gone to bed and over a glass of wine or summat. Might have a few choice words for her, too.

It’s equally safe to say that that makes two of them. Got cut a bit short last time, if memory serves. The joys of parenting.

Dont get him started. Perhaps they should let Noah spend the weekend at a friend’s sometime. Give them some much-needed alone time for the first time in * 𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒔.

Sure, he just didn’t want to overload them or anything. If they’re game, that sounds good to him. Whatever works best for everyone.

Preaching to the choir on that one, El. Their little man is his whole world, of course – as is she – but some time alone with just her is long bloody overdue, he reckons. Maybe a small holiday or summat sometime might be nice.

Oi, she’s saying that as though it were a bad thing. ( He’s just teasing – he knows what she means. ) Seriously though, they could. Doesn’t mean another little’un’s on the way.

And everything worked out fine, didn’t it? Yeah, that’d be boss, too. What about somewhere a bit warmer? Say, Nice? Or Sicily?

How about they switch things up then, yeah? Try Italy for a change? He makes a pretty wicked pizza from scratch, imagine what they can learn when they’re over there.

They’d have to make a point of going up to Tuscany, then. Can’t go on a proper culinary tour of Italy without it. He’ll have to refresh his Italian, then. Mozzarella, calzone, spaghetti, pizza, fromaggio, fettuccine. . .