if I was working in the make-a-wish foundation I would twist kids' wishes in an ironic and harmful way like a djinn

Whenever a movie has a mayor as a character I’m like oh here we go. Here’s the mayor

Today at a pro se trial for leaving a dog in a hot car for over an hour, the defendant ended her testimony with, "And I'm worried because I've been waiting for my case to get called for two hours, and my dog's in my car at the parking deck right now."

every friend group got those three to four friends of unknown race

he kinda looks like he would be mayor at the age of 18

how it feels to go to a different floor of your office:

I like the company culture of Luthercorp you just know they’ve done a lot of team building to reach that level

Clearly you didn't watch Phineas and Ferb the Movie: Across the 2nd Dimension on the night of its premiere.

The summer I turned pretty is perhaps a sicker and more twister family drama than Succession or House of the Dragon

are novels written by their narrators or by the person who wrote the book? it is impossible to say and no one really knows

if only that belly girl had a identical twin named tummy then both those brothers could be happy

European starlings can only be found in America because a 19th Shakespeare fanatic felt that every bird mentioned in a Shakespeare play should exist here, so he released 60 of them into Central Park. They cause an estimated 800 million dollars worth of crop damage a year.

"Labubu" sounds like a stand-in for “frivolous expense” in a fictional and not particularly nuanced world. like Dr. Seuss’s “thneed” in The Lorax

i have decided that jeff is a fancy breed despite his humble origins. he has a bow tie so he is. the bow tie is not pictured.

i hate that so many parks have closing hours the only good time to swing is at night but i risk having cops pull up and being like why are you here….dude THE SWINGS

watching this movie from the 1900s and they just left this kid kevin home alone

My biggest gripe with this speech is that superman never specified who it is that he loves and what hes scared of It shouldve been “I love Lois Lane and my parents Martha and Jonathan Kent, and im scared of losing them, so i hope you dont kill them luthor,” and so on

they lobotomized lex luthor