Not enough has been written about Schrödinger’s assistant, Otto.

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

so important

Little kid walking around dressed as Batman with his ALIVE parents. What a poser.

Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975) The Black Knight sketch is pure unadulterated gruesome comedy gold. 'Tis but a scratch.

“And we shall name them the Dallas Cowboys and they will be America’s Team.” “So they will play in Dallas then sir?” “No, they’ll play in Arlington, but have offices in Frisco.” “But America will love them?” “If only it was that simple.”

A Brady Bunch prequel, but it's a dark Netflix series about what really happened to Mike and Carol's first spouses.

My inner child tries so hard but they just can’t compete with my inner duck who always wants bread and my inner mouse who always wants cheese and my inner focaccia dough which needs to rest for at least 12 hours in a cool dark place alone before it’s ready for anything

You can say ‘have a nice day’ with no problem but say ‘enjoy the next 24 hours’ sounds strangely threatening

In the greater scheme of things, aren't we all just trying to go back to bed

In England "booster shot" is spelled "borchestershire shot".

Does anyone else do that thing where you have a drawer in your refrigerator full of cheese but every time you go to the store you think you might be out of cheese so you buy more

It just means more in the SEC

BREAKING: Dallas Cowboys head coach Mike McCarthy’s laminated sheet of intricate plays is really just a Waffle House menu.

Long lines in PA, MI, and WI today, was barely able to vote in all three

airbnb implies earthbnb, firebnb, and waterbnb