Back in my day we called this subtweeting

Darling Nikki.. he spazzed 🔥

"¿Y si salimos después del trabajo?" Yo después del trabajo:

"I hope this email finds you well!" How the email found me.

My mama would’ve turned “you the birthday” into “you finna be the ass whopping if don’t clean them dishes” so quick😂😂😂😂

Something we all can agree on.

Bro it’s bring ya kid to work day. Why my coworker got her 36yr old unemployed son here man? Dawg I have been crying. I thought this nigga was a new hire for the company lmaooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Me: i gonna creampie you tonight Her: but I'm on my period Me: well I'm bringing a biscuit cause we're making a strawberry shortcake FBI agent:

Always. I get pissed when other ppl don’t

Yeah sure that's why he was there

“Light My Fire” by The Doors was released as a single 59 years ago today.

𝘐𝘯 𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺, “𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘴𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘱.” 𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘰𝘦𝘵𝘳𝘺 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘺, “𝘔𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘮𝘪𝘥𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘺.”

Nigga asked me not to spoil the Michael Jackson movie…we deadass lived through it wym?

assasinations used to have a 100% success rate, whats going on

If u in a dick eating competition and ur competitor is dj akademiks just kill yourself

Wake up America your food is banned in 30 countries.

Being alone doesn't bother me. What bothers me is when I finally let people in, and they ruin the peace I created for myself.

Average White Band A Love Of Your Own - 1976

life if I start doing things the way I want:

🤣🤣🤣🤣