had a nightmare i made spaghetti and everyone said it was bad and they were so mean and i was too weak to choke anyone out

training my son to bring any mystery guns to us "for safety"

ok i got the dualie bob stroller so im locked into at least 1 more kid

been at the superchargers for like 5 minutes i think this indian guys self drive must be down cus he's been in and out almost hitting people the entire time and just gave up and went in sideways lol. im in canada so he prob had his cousin at service ontario do his license up

I just don’t know if I can bring kids into a world with Covid

have enough noon vodka lemonades in me to talk about my hospital lactation consultant horror story: she loudly noted that my nipples showed evidence of being pierced while my republican politician mother in law was right behind the curtain

day drunk owning the libs on nextdoor with my full name and address on display

can u get an annulment if he doesn't like the rye chip in chex mix

For those of you who don't go into rural woods, there are far more full yellow school busses parked out there than you can imagine. I always stop and try to figure out how each one got back there.

🚨🚨 i am going to cheesecake factory for my first time ever 🚨🚨

not that it wasnt already obvious but here's the explanation behind this account

the first time we went to this steakhouse we didn't realize it was this fancy and my husband wore his most neon orange work shirt and this time he forgot his button up in the car and he's wearing a t shirt that came in a pack of 5 that he sharpied the chevy logo on

baby is 99th percentile on height fucking take that short girl haters i told you mfs i had a tall soul

Cool stuff I’ve done: -built a swing for chickens

tag yourself im split mosaic cus i am pink sometimes and evil other times

choosing this kind of subject is a way for people new to a traditionally domestic medium to make it more palatable. ironically the desire for "subversion" reveals some actual internalized misogyny and ignorance when it comes to traditional motifs, but I think it's mostly that to