POV you’re a junior banker at JP Morgan and your MD wants to have a performance chat

“COPE HARDERRRRR” I’ve watched this core win the Stanley Cup three times. More than your franchise has in its entire existence. You just happened to beat the 39 year old version of them. Congrats, I guess.

o cara é tão bom nesse papel que eu to torcendo pra ele matar todo mundo no final e ser feliz do jeito dele

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” “Your dad was a sex slave for J.P. Morgan”

JP Morgan: We’re hiring. Me:

Just got accepted for a junior analyst position at JP Morgan

BREAKING: Mike Vrabel has informed the Patriots he plans to retire as head coach and join JP Morgan’s leveraged finance team.

JPM security opening the women’s bathroom

fuck you

Today is a great day to be on Twitter. Literally in tears at some of this JP Morgan shit

That swing…

Time to Come Home McDavid

“You’ve never even mentioned horses before.” Me from 6:57 PM to 6:59 PM this evening:

2026 Kentucky Derby results: 1. 🐎 2. 🐎 3. 🐎 4. 🐎 5. 🐎 6. 🐎 7. 🐎 8. 🐎 9. 🐎 10. 🐎 11. 🐎 12. 🐎 13. 🐎 14. 🐎 15. 🐎 16. 🐎 17. 🐎 18. 🐎

Pirates just indubitably fried the Reds

Losing in a game 7 just to hop on your Twitch live to complain about someone flopping might be the saddest any NBA player has gone out in history

my dad used to be sitting in the dark at 5am before going to work and now i'm that guy

L'Oréal Kids shampoo

Fernando Tatis Jr it gets to a point buddy