I have just discovered that Billie Eilish has cannons.

All it takes is one of the decades most incredible incidents to see just how rational people can be.

This is one of the most cunty, awful, mean and shitty things I’ve ever read. It’s fucking disgusting that people would even think like this.. plenty of people without the ability to have kids getting shit on by this rotten, dried up slag. Laura Loomer You are a piece of shit.

FYI: The music in the new Lynx Fragrance ads is fucking shit.

I've FINALLY found out what chronology is. And it's about time.

There should be a Freeview channel dedicated to just playing this on loop for the next 20 years

Got to remember that it’s social etiquette to say ‘excuse me’ AFTER you fart and not before.

I’ll bet the ratio of brick throwing, coke snorting, Gary named morons and Reform voters is staggering.

I have my first Stand Up set in 26 years on Tuesday. To say I’m nervous would be a lie. I’m not.

Thanks to FirstLaughsComedy I have my first Stand Up set in over 20 years tonight at Thirsty Cambridge 🇪🇺 Nerve wracking.. Cambridge Fringe I’ll see you next year 👌

After extensive research (which involved listening to the song ‘That Don’t Impress Me Much’ by Shania Twain 💎💎💎) I have come to the conclusion that regardless of good looks, a job, a hobby and generally being a decent person, what she really wants is a guy that can make her cum.

Tell me your best racial joke… ONLY about white people

This place kinda sucks.. Find me here. It’s like Twitter before it was fucking shit bsky.app/profile/blatan…

I think I might be done.. This place is a fucking shit hole. There are literal Nazis everywhere.

The freedom of speech granted by Elon Musk allows me to say that I think he is a fucking moron that has ruined twitter beyond economical repair and that his sad devotion to Donald J. Trump puts him in leagues with the KKK, Nazis and literal Dictators.

The fact that the high and mighty free speech wanker Elon Musk has threatened banning people for calling him / her ‘Elonia’ or pointing out that he has the body of a bloated corpse that was found in a river after 3 months compels be to do so.

Can I just have a moment for Tyler The Creator driving a Lancia Delta Integrale?!

Anyone remember Bad Taste Jokes™  ? That was me for a long time