"The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not." - Mark Twain

Can you help me reach my owner? I think I fell asleep on a Cardiff Bus and was parted from my friend. I ended up in their lost property department where the nice ladies have given me some fish sandwiches to keep me going, but I really miss home. Please help me get home.

Yay ! the author copies of my new play have arrived. Thank you Methuen Drama

One of my students told me ‘you are a very unserious person’. Intended I think as a compliment. But I’m not altogether sure. But if I had to choose between being a Clown or a Guru, I’d go Clown every time.

Signage reads: Debenhams - where William Shakespeare was inspired to become the world’s greatest playwright

General booking online opens at 9am on Saturday for the play that I’ve written from John le Carré’s “The Spy Who Came In From The Cold” playing @ChichesterFT 23 August - 21 September cft.org.uk/events/the-spy… 💻👀🕵️‍♂️🔥🗓️

Thing about writing is it’s compulsive. It brings pleasure, it brings heart ache. But it’s always compulsive. I’ve got notes for a list of plays I need to write. Every morning I wake up with that compulsion. It’s who I am. It’s the meaning of my existence. And I’m grateful for it

Managed to spare a few minutes to be photographed near a train, before boarding my helicopter.

Simply great! This ad by The Lincoln Project tells some hard truths about America’s biggest failure and fraud ever, #DonaldJTrump —but now the chickens are coming home to roost, as he is exposed as “officially busted and broken”

Now he’s still there and systematically defrauding the taxpayer is a far worse crime than anything AR is being accused of, it should have been jail time for him. #ToryCorruption

There’s a second series of the wonderful COLIN FROM ACCOUNTS — reviewed by Guardian Australia: theguardian.com/tv-and-radio/a…. When does it reach the UK? As Sam West Samuel West 💙💛 says, “If you love this show already I admire your taste; if you’re yet to discover it I admire your luck”.

When Donald Trump complains that the prosecutors, the judge, and the jury have treated him unfairly, do not believe him. I’ve been in court every day of this historic criminal trial of a former President. I spent over a decade as a criminal prosecutor in Manhattan. Let me be

Remembered last night at #Tonyawards2024 New York 💙

I recently found out my agent is closing down the agency which will leave me unrepresented for the first time in over ten years. My heart goes to the whole team & all of their clients. Please if you can retweet, I am now seeking representation. app.spotlight.com/9655-9085-0729

This is huge! And testament to the amazing campaigning of the likes of @juliehes and others. Amazing!

I asked Keir Starmer many months ago,if a general election was called tomorrow were they ready for Government. His answer was an emphatic YES...and I now see why. Depth of talented Ministers forming an impressive Cabinet....I am beginning to dare to feel hope.

My wardrobe mistress of 30 years Di Gardner was 18 months ago given weeks to live. Here she is at rehearsal for Shirley Valentine back in January last year . She has battled on. Di was told today that she is in remission #miraclescanhappen

BREAKING: Watch the exact moment Fox News reveals to their audience that Vice President Kamala Harris has completely eliminated Donald Trump’s lead in the polls. This has the Trump campaign in pure panic. Retweet so all Americans see this.