1994 - The #Simpsons, a show famous for predicting the future (#HiggsBoson, #Coronavirus, #Trump) shows Marge persuading Bart that a #potato is worthy of his school’s show&tell. “I just think they’re neat,” she says in what may yet prove the show’s most defining moment.

2006 - Boeing launches Synthetic Personnel Using Dialectic Substitutions program, aka #SPUDS. By successfully replacing human test subjects with sacks of potatoes, The Boeing Company raises the question: How many more of our fellow humans are secretly #potatoes? usatoday.com/story/todayint…

1963 - North Dakota Experiment Station invents the Red Viking Potato. A particularly rugged and robust spud, #Vikings are an excellent source of vitamin C and therefore a good choice to help prevent #scurvy on your next longboat voyage across the Labrador Sea.

1985 - La Toya Jackson performs “Hot Potato” on TV’s The Fall Guy, starring Lee Majors. While seemingly innocuous, the lyric “boy you’re talking like a hot potato” has puzzled philosophers and cryptographers for decades – for hot potatoes do not talk, they only see.

1778 - War of Bavarian Succession declared, aka the first #GreatPotatoWar. Conflict results in little actual bloodshed, with soldiers instead succumbing to starvation and disease. The lesson? All the weapons in the world are useless if you don’t pack enough potatoes.

1440 - First use of the word “spud.” Originally a dagger, the term later referred to a type of shovel used for unearthing root vegetables. Undaunted, the mighty #potato stared down this implement of its own destruction and seized the name for itself, gangster style. #spudlife

If you’ve been looking for a sleep mask but think they all suck, it’s time to #NapWithManta. The comfort is absolute, the darkness all-encompassing, and the sleep an uninterrupted dive into the deepest voids of your netherbrain. Also available in lavender. Manta Sleep

2004 - Sex Lives of the Potato Men, starring Mackenzie Crook of #TheOffice (no, the other office), premieres to a whopping 0% Tomato Rating. The film serves as a stark reminder that potatoes are often misunderstood – especially by tomatoes. #potato #piratesofthecaribbean

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1931 - Noted equestrian and spacefaring ladies’ man William Shatner born. Many attribute his lifelong success to mad Esperanto skills and ability to rock gold velour, but recent papers hint at a secret advantage from his youth – potato pancakes. #startrek #beammeup #spacepotatoes

1999 - #Spongebob Squarepants ep 5b, Home Sweet Pineapple, airs. Featuring Spongebob’s parents, ostensibly based on sea sponges, biologists note Harold and Margaret Squarepants’s potato-like qualities, including a lumpy, spotty appearance and generally good-natured disposition.

1695 - William Salmon, noted doctor and “King of Quacks” according to peer physicians, writes that #potatoes “nourish the whole body, restore in consumptions, and provoke #lust.” He then claims that #spuds counter impotency in men, thus making potatoes nature’s own blue pill.

1839 - Henry Spalding, who by all accounts was every bit as jolly as his picture implies, introduces Christianity, the printing press and potatoes to what is today known as #Idaho.

Movie idea: Aliens come to earth and decide which humans to promote/enslave/eat based solely on our Hogwart's Houses.

so are all the mac apps gonna be square now? is that just something I need to go ahead and embrace lest I go mad?

Anyone know a good resource for determining how far stars are from each other? Like, actual distance, not how they look from Earth.

Progress on my first book: I wrote the damned thing, rewrote it several times, ran it through test readers and an editor. Now the fun part that I’m sure all authors love most of all—noodling through the idiosyncrasies of Kindle Create :/

2021 - The true plots of our underground overlords are revealed in the tell-all book Godsquatter, which follows 3 fast-food workers & a grandmother as they unearth the greatest conspiracy of all time. Find it on Amazon: amzn.to/3ooaWqr #potatopower #potatoes #potato

1998 - In a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it line in #Bongwater, Jack Black confesses his undying love for a baked #potato, leaving one to wonder how this particular potato weaseled its way into Jack’s cold heart, and was it all some elaborate #catfishing scheme? youtube.com/watch?v=xtbYOj…