Maybe it’s not “resting bitch face”, maybe you just never let a bitch rest her face. instagram.com/p/CQusmXtA1Wa/…

Can I get a Big Beef Hot Dog? instagram.com/p/CQwp_GngIxO/…

Well we know Donald Rumsfeld is dead. instagram.com/p/CQxzv9LAlB7/…

Millionaire’s Bloody Mary. @ Kitchen Story Oakland instagram.com/p/CSfPO5EBWlK/…

Maybe Nirvana can reach a compromise with that kid and pay for him to have the Nevermind tattoo lasered off his chest. #Nirvana #Nevermind

Michael K. Williams wasn’t just an amazing actor, the projects he picked to be in were always incredible all the way through. He wasn’t just there for the paycheck, he was a true artist and I’m so sad I’ll never get to see him act again.

The model from the Nirvana album cover wants his baby dick removed from cover, indicating that he probably still has a baby dick.

The Comedy Show at San Benito House is back. See you at the fire pit at 7pm, Wednesday November 3rd! @ San Benito House instagram.com/p/CVltUfVva3c/…

Just posted a photo @ San Benito House instagram.com/p/CVyQA2TvDa0/…

This Wednesday at 7 pm, @maryjanewardcomedy and I host Smart Ass Trivia Night San Benito House ! instagram.com/p/CbQS1DVJJeh/…

Upcoming shows! instagram.com/p/CbQUlkop8qL/…

From the Ashes Comedy Show Next Wednesday San Benito House with myself. @maryjanewardcomedy and Dro Knows Molly MaGee @chanclagladiator and Half Moon Bay’s own @ajdcomedy @ San Benito House instagram.com/p/Ch8VAs8pNtK/…

Just posted a photo @ San Benito House instagram.com/p/Ch8XukKJe15/…

Because “Fuck You!” That’s why! instagram.com/p/Ch8YQJ1pDDd/…

Just posted a photo @ San Benito House instagram.com/p/Ch8ZFIupvnp/…

Just posted a photo @ San Benito House instagram.com/p/Ch8ac17JaSG/…

A guy told me he’s not that into blowjobs. Part of me thought, “ Guess I’m off the hook then.” The other part of me was like, “Hold my beer while I get some saliva going.”

Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

“Trump is implicated alongside a pedophile, and I knew it but didn’t care because we were friends” is not the flex you think it is.

Do you remember when you joined X? I don’t. This is first time in I don’t know how long that I’ve looked at it. #MyXAnniversary