This is what Twitter suggested for for my twitterversary....I'm #terribleattwitter so nobody gives a shit Do you remember when you joined Twitter? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

Friday night I'll be performing @flapperscomedy 8PM EST 5PM PST. Link in bio for tickets!! #comedy #zoomcomedy instagram.com/p/CNoFdRrASwS/…

Me: Mails in taxes 8 weeks ago, expecting a refund. #IRS #wheresmyrefund website: Sorry, we have no information. My Mom: Mails in taxes last week with a check for the money she owes. #IRS: Cashes check immediately. Me, looking for my money: Calls IRS IRS: Crickets #wheresmymoney

June 24th! We got Samantha SJ Bednarz DougUram and FIGGY ! Its gonna be dinner and a Show! Doors open at 7pm! Show starts at 8! $10 cover! #westchestercomedy #nycomedy #standupcomedy #coyotecomedy

Live from our virtual stages we welcome Laurie Kilmartin brian kiley @wendyloveschewy @Hdubb0288 Keisha Dadzie Samantha SJ Bednarz and more. 7pm PDT TIX: flc.cc/VBGFUIB

I sometimes think that bus drivers drive slow as fuck just to ruin everyone's day #success MTA

Currently in a state of limbo because I bought a house in #Louisiana but #HurricaneIda pumped the brakes on that and most people are acting like I've already moved and I'm having anxiety and insomnia and tweeting at 4am cause nobody pays attention to my tweets anyway #amifunny

Oh no if social media crashes who’s going to headline comedy clubs with 3 minutes of material??

Well, I guess we're all here doing the same thing #dontpanic

Me without #instagram #instagramisdown #instagramdisabled #instaoutage #sendhelp #twitterislovingthis

Mom: I can't believe this! Me: What? Mom: I can't get channel 7! Me: Are they run by Facebook?

I used to hide in the bathroom from my family during the holidays cause everyone made me crazy while cooking, now I'm hiding in the bathroom during the holidays cause I'm unpacking after a cross country move and my family is still making me crazy

I angry drink #kombucha

Back in episode 128 we interviewed that cosmic weirdo, the Prince from Katamari Damacy! Here's a little snippet. Starring Samantha SJ Bednarz! Find full episodes wherever you listen to podcasts or click that link in the bio. #katamaridamacy #katamari #videogames #RETROGAMING

Holy shit!! Can’t wait!!!

While I know this will never happen, I think the only way to make things fair is to have the government make it mandatory for all men to have a #vasectomy once they become sexually active and have it reversed only if and when they get married #problemsolved #yourbodymychoice

#nyc #Westvillage #Soho #WorldWide come #Party w/ us tonight as we feature these funny folks (FRI 6/24/22): Samantha SJ Bednarz! Kristina Kelley (she/her)! Tom Peters! Chris Deshawn! & Camille Theobald 💞! With the #UGCREW of @thetommyalfano! @chriswagnerd! & @montikilla! Let's #UGIT!

Is #whogaryen a thing already? #Targaryen #houseofthedragon #HBO HBO

Check out "Black Coffee Comedy Show" on Eventbrite! Date: Thu, Oct 27, 7:00 PM Location: Wakin' Bakin' #NolaComedy #standupcomedy #thingstodoinneworleans eventbrite.com/e/black-coffee…

Shout out to Bill Burr for making me want to try mushrooms for the first time in my mid 40s so I can cry in my fiances lap for two hours after seeing him at the Smoothie King Center tonight #NOLA