You might be a horse girl if: you immediately critique all of the safety concerns in this photo... sorry Mike, you’re a dude, quit pandering.

song of the day: open.spotify.com/track/4YTid5ZL…

My gf: what are you listening to? Me: a The Dollop about a white dude who is bad at traveling. My gf: didn’t we already listen to that one? Me: no no, there’s another. There’s so many of them.

Women. Deserve. Pockets.

My Netflix prank show idea: Women agreeing to meet up with the guys that send them unsolicited dick pics, but when the guy arrives, its actually their mother waiting for them.

Can we start a “it’s 2019, I shouldn’t have to explain..” thread? Like “it’s 2019, I shouldn’t have to explain why tranny is not a cool term anymore.”

Today my great aunt turns 101. She asks all her in home care helpers a few questions: - are you registered to vote? If yes, -who did you vote for in the last presidential election? If they say Trump- what are you, an idiot? Be like Auntie Frances.

Quick clip of the new track!!! AVOIDING IS NOW STREAMING EVERYWHEREEEE 🌳🙏🏻🌿

GUN CONTROL NOW !! FUCK THE NRA THIS IS NOT OK DON'T LET IT FEEL OK

My gf bought me tickets to the live The Dollop while she’s on tour. But none of my friends are nerdy enough to go with me. What do you think Gareth Reynolds , wanna go? I have no idea what they’re gonna talk about.

Hey dudes! Swab out your dick hole with URETHRA WASH. Exfoliate your penis-tunnel! Really get up in there!

Apparently some people still need to watch this...

No one: Absolutely no one: Me: The smell of cut grass is the grass releasing a wounding compound into the air to warn other plants that they were injured. You are smelling their screams.

I just woke up to a tiny spider dropping in front of my face. Idk if that’s a sign that I : A. Go back to sleep B. Get the heck out of bed C. Dust my room for once

Thank you troypaulbloom for helping me frame the colors and feelings I love to make this series of releases beautiful. And thank you to Becka palter for your eye and styling and grit to help these shoots come to… instagram.com/p/B9ATM6xht4s/…