You know that feeling when you're out in nature early in the morning & everything is quiet & the air still smells like night time. Then the first rays of sun peak through the trees & everything is bathed in foggy, golden light & you just stand there watching the earth wake up.

if you were drowning i'd save you, but i'd be all like; 'I can't believe i'm saving this jerkstick.'

Holy sh*t, this ad. #ViolentTrump

No sir no it is not!

With all the Super League stuff going on... can we please also speak about the new Champions League format? More and more and more games, is no one thinking about us players? The new UCL format is just the lesser of the two evils in comparison to the Super League...

Before becoming a parent I could never have predicted how many conversations I’d have while sitting on the toilet.

Who needs an alarm clock when you're toddler is such an unbelievable asshole?

My son can now reach the light switches so don't come over my house unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure.

The recommended age to have a Ouija Board is 8+ years old. So, you need to be 21 years old to drink alcohol and 8 to summon the devil.

The US has an archaic electoral system that lets the one with less than 50% of votes win. Russia's ensures the one with more than 100% wins.

When my son was very young I thought he was so kind and honest and good, and then he grew up enough for me to play board games with him.

Rule one on social media. Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever make a joke. Because no-one will get it.

Realizing how much hard work&guts that Crime In Sports & Small Town Murder ARE actually made of— hosts James Pietragallo and Whisman have had to endure a death in the fam, divorce, remarriage, other jobs, life stuff—all while never missing a week or making us wait between “seasons”.

Boss: You've been chosen to take a random drug test. Me: Very cool. So which one am I testing?