Hi Susie Dent I've recently broken 3 ribs and the word pain isn't strong enough. What can I use in its place to express my hurt? Thanks x

You think its bad now in 20 years our country will be run by the kids that was home schooled by day drinkers

#peston most ppl have not seen this extra 20 pounds on universal credit due to benefit caps Makes the torys sound good but in reality most don't see it

Brill couldn't of put it better myself Toby Tarrant 😄😁😄🤣

#domisabadman

Surely I'm not the only person to use twitter solely for trolling dom #radiox #domisabadman #pointatdom #wookie

Yay it's been 3 months since I could sign in to my twitter What did I miss? is #elonmusktwitter in charge? Did he make cocaine legal yet?

Met a real analbaby today🤫 You know the kind of ppl that are that shit they must have been conceived in the butt

I sometimes wish I had a staten island #NYC accent just so it sounds cool when I tell ppl to go fuck yourselves Since listening to the wsy podcast My British accent just makes me sound like an asshole #istillowncunttho Sal Vulcano

Laughed so hard I nearly crashed my car listening to Brian Quinn laughing at Sal Vulcano telling the ransom note story again 😆 ppl stopped and stared at me I looked like I was having an emotional midlife breakdown laughed uncontrollably at them and drove off #whatsayyoupodcast

How Lucky is Prince Andrew he is the only person in UK not sweating there ass off right now

Its the summer i really miss my left testicle My excess nutsack skin is clinging to my leg like a wet shower curtain making me walk sideways like a crab thats just shit itself #fml #testical #summer #hot

Next door neighbour has been banging something for ages and it's driving me mad, But I'm not gonna get angry or lose my temper cos I'm a grown up now So I've convinced myself he is having sex and I'm cheering him on instead

Anyone worried that Antony Joshua will turn up at the queen's funeral and talk about himself #boxing #queensfuneral

Just wow 👌🏼

I like cars, I can blow things up, I continually put my foot in it, And most of the things I say people don't like Can I apply for you're job Jeremy Clarkson ??? Lol I will even fight Piers Morgan

I got a blue tick

Day 1 done

Nothings blown yet #so far so good

World class bike thief