Guys I just used a really good pickup line on Val

One time I touched val and had to go to the doctor to get burn cream. I told her to stop being so hot

My penis is large

Being a father is the best feeling in the world

Idk what to tweet which is why I don't. I feel like a 50 year old on Facebook saying "Hello family and friends!"

Me: tells Val I can't sleep, falls asleep 10 minutes later

Hi I'm his girlfriend. I'm still here so don't even try to flirt with him BUDDY. (:

An open letter to the man who said he'd rape my fiancée. Read: tl.gd/n_1spapr0

Girls who look like Val, act like Val, and are Val are rly cute

bye now mfs have a good thanksgiving

Called an old friend thinkin the trouble could wait

lol this ain't worth it no more

Still the king tho.

I'm getting my makeup done by a professional *pulls out csrd* her name is va- val- Valentina jower- no.. j-johair.. oh! Jouer! She's awesome

If I leave, bet you'll wish I'd stay, make you'd regret all the things you'd say to me

When I met her I never thought I'd be here, 19 days until our wedding. Holy shit

Nice to know everyone forgot my birthday.. heh

When your fiancée forgets your birthday, your mom, and your only friend. Nice

I'm not lucky, just blessed 🙏

I don't think I'll ever be as sad as I was when everyone forgot my birthday