John Paul Jones is THE surfer bro from your 1998 teen dreams. #bachelorinparadise

Whattup my name is Jordan, my greatest hits include getting engaged on the last season of BIP, wearing a gold lame banana hammock, sending stuffed animals to their watery grave, and macking on your girl. #bachelorinpadadise

Our HQ watch party is off to a chaotic start. Our cheese is not safe from the dogs. #BacheloretteFinale

HE'S NOT SAYING HE CAN'T GIVE IT TO YOU HE'S SAYING HE CAN'T GIVE IT TO YOU AFTER 6 WKS OF NONEXCLUSIVE DATING. #BacheloretteFinale

Every year, we're reminded anew that the season finale is boring as hell until the last 20 minutes. #BacheloretteFinale

I've barely watched Rachel and Bryan's date because it's boring and because I'm busy guarding our cheese plate from my dog. #TheBachelorette

I wish I could hear Bryan kissing her less. #BacheloretteFinale

I am so stressed that the final rose will go to Bryan and his cheek implants and I am not ok. #BacheloretteFinale

Eric you are sweet and pure and are making the right decision with your current facial hair situation and we all want good things for you.

Every time Bryan and Rachel kiss, our entire watch party groans. #BacheloretteFinale

Rachel, girl, we love you, but nothing about what Peter is saying is confusing. #BacheloretteFinale

WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?! CHRIS HARRISON YOU TRICKY BITCH #TheBacheloretteFinale

SO SHE PICKED BRYAN AND THAT'S HOW THEY TOLD US. I AM SO HURT. #TheBacheloretteFinale

Rachel is rewriting history with Peter. If there were red flags, ABC would have devoted a minimum of 90 minutes to it. #BacheloretteFinale

All of us right now. #DontBeMeanToPeter #BacheloretteFinale

MAKE 👏 HER 👏 REGRET 👏 IT 👏 PETER 👏 #BacheloretteFinale

So help me God if Nick Viall somehow weasels his way into the end of this season. What are you not telling us, Harrison #BacheloretteFinale

About 45 seconds passed between Neil Lane showing up and Bryan arriving in front of Rachel. Something is not right. #BacheloretteFinale

Rachel just taught us a master class in lying to yourself. #BacheloretteFinale