Me to my worm gf: cmon babe we’re going fishing

how does one spend $2200 on a free bingo night

have a great week or don’t, do whatever you want

Been a hell of a year

hair of the DAWG by 10AM

B E A C H D A Y

46 for 46 (beers for presidents)

them damn padres 🤦🏼‍♂️

my partner(s) in crime, just like Bonnie & Clyde

from m for mumbo to W for the Braves just Won-bo

*at our 10 year reunion, going up to the same 5 assholes I’ve been hanging with since high school* HEY MAN HOW THE HELL ARE YA 🫱🏻‍🫲🏼

I do not negotiate with terrorists

today it was “wake up it’s game day”

Noles ranked #4 LFG 😤 #FSU

he should have been what now

my gf fist bumped the BEACH BOYS last night y’all can’t tell me shit 😤🤜🏻🤛🏻 The Beach Boys

gotta beer in my beer & a Chevy in my truck!

being 0-2 on fiancés is crazy work 🫠

pretty lame that I can’t bet on this Congressional Baseball Game for Charity 🤨 #WashingtonDC #trump