Go put on sumn slutty & come eat this plate of bacon with me...

*Smacks ya ass*

Recording a diss track about turkey bacon

Remember when bitches tried bringing back jeans that went all the way up to their tittys

I just wanna snort coke off her ass & watch Three Amigos in peace

Taco Sunday, bitches…because the rules do NOT apply to me.

I banged my head and metal health DID drive me mad! 🤘😈🤘

When you slap her ass and she says oww, then tilts her ass higher

You can tell which is the female bird with her loud ass

If your man is scared to go on roller coasters, we'll leave him down there with the pregnant moms and the grandmas holding bags

Chipotle is not Mexican food you pasty fucks

Trying to figure out how to become a millionaire by tomorrow

Don't ruin it and overthink it!

Every professional bowler looks like a sleazy uncle

I bought ice cream sandwiches for everyone!

I am a raging phone addict

Go to bed badasses. Tomorrow is Monday

When I show her my bedroom and say ' This is where the magic happens ' this is what I mean

Going to Walmart on a Sunday is the human equivalent of a wildlife documentary on PBS.

Thoughts, still $0.01/each

GOD: [going through his end of year figures] Prophets are up lol *high fives himself