でっかいカエルすき？

Holdign my Bathynomus., 🤲😊

I just went to look at my bee house and look at the little face I saw looking back at me!

Judge: You are hereby legally prohibited from posting the words wiener, poop, shit, dick, butt, cum, penis, cock, or ass for the next thirty days! *bangs gavel* Me, the bailiffs dragging me away: Just kill me! Just let me fucking die!!!

Every night the peeping Toad gazes through our window with longing (or could it be judgment?) in his eyes.

ah yes, the real five love languages: - touch starved -my parents never said they were proud of me - i love Things - i’m so exhausted by life pls let me rest for 5 mins - hey pay attention to me

me aburría así que crucifiqué a netanyahu

Strangely cute

when i got a psychic reading for my cat and she said they fight because one cat thinks she is my soul guardian and that we are meant to be together and my other cat is just a regular animal

they read my feature request omggg

Как-то в детстве я пристыдил деда за пиратство, и он сказал: «Мне плевать, получит Брэд Питт 100 млн или 99». Я: «Ну раз от богачей не убудет, стал бы ты из сетевого магаза красть продукты, если бы это было так же просто?» Он посмотрел на меня как на идиота и сказал: «Конечно»

went into dominoes and said "pizza pizza" they shot me in the chest with a rifle

this changes everything

🪲🍑

if i could suck my own dick they’d have to put one of those cones around my neck to stop me

bee's getting breaky (bee freaky)