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No one told me it was my birthday. I assumed I was eating work-day cake, blowing out work candles and unwrapping work presents.

Laura Lexx - Touring NOW! Will Seaward Alastair Clark @katiezoemitch @RuffledBricks Bookmarks Bookshop Sir Ian Bowler, MP Sooz Kempner FOLLOW ME ON BLUESKY Mustafa Pope Lonergan Ticket link to the Bookmarks one which somehow got clipped off previous tweet: eventbrite.com/e/bookmarks-bo…

Andy blooming smashing Sir Ian Bowler, MP was too! 👏 #Surrey don’t Miss Nathaniel Tapley Mc next #ComedyCottage Fri 29th April Harlequin Theatre & Cinema

Big thanks 2 FAB guest Mc Annabel Giles 💙🇪🇺 & acts who smashed #ComedyCottage 16th Anniversary show 4 Comic Relief Carey Marx Sir Ian Bowler, MP Gary Sansome Lauren Karl Next show 29th April Harlequin Theatre & Cinema wth Mc Nat Taply headliner Christian Reilly + Bk now! harlequintheatre.co.uk/events/comedy-…

No, I was watching porn at a work event. That was within the guidelines.

To be clear. I was not in a state of arousal. I haven't had an unassisted erection since the Falklands War (it wasn't just the Belgrano that went down that night). If I wanted to masturbate it certainly wouldn't be to porn but to a slideshow of images of Margaret Hilda Thatcher.

Doing much worse than Theresa May is the new winning. #winning

#Redhill #Reigate #Surrey Don't miss last award winning #ComedyCottage 4 season Fri 24June Harlequin Theatre & Cinema wth fab Dan Antopolski Sir Ian Bowler, MP President Obonjo #GeorgieMorrell matty hutson Nathan Ramsden-Lock House Tunes @petedennismusic £13 for Macmillan Cancer Support harlequintheatre.co.uk/events/comedy-…

#Surrey What happens when African dictator President Obonjo President Obonjo & Right wing politician Sir Ian Bowler, MP share the same stage? Find out this FRI 24Jun #ComedyCottage 8pm Harlequin Theatre & Cinema Tkts just £13 BK Now! 01737 276500 Macmillan Cancer Support #comedy harlequintheatre.co.uk/events/comedy-…

I salute President President Obonjo's indefatigability.

Spent all night waiting for a phone call that never came. Just woke up. Have I missed anything?

For too long the cultural elite has ignored the tastes of the Great British public. What are the most exciting three words in comedy?

Striding around the Palace of Westminster, shrieking unintelligibly.

Crazy Politics but what do comics think? Find Out THIS FRI 28th #ComedyCottage 8pm Harlequin Theatre & Cinema wth Scott Capurro Sir Ian Bowler, MP @1joromero Bas Rahman Graham de la Cruz Mc Moi Tkts £13 box office 01737 215928 #SupportLiveComedy #SupportYourTheatre harlequintheatre.co.uk/events/comedy-…

Looking forward to seeing Matt Hancock surrounded by scuttling vermin, ramming as much anus as he can manage into his mouth as soon as he gets back from the jungle and re-enters Parliament.

LIEUTENANT COLUMBO: No further questions, sir, I won't be bothering you- Except. Except there's this one little thing I don't understand. When you met Twitter, Mister Musk, it was alive, if you see what I mean. It was a vibrant happy place, and then - a couple of weeks later- "

A special election message from me...

A very important message from Tory MP @SirIanBowlerMP about voting today instagram.com/thatnatt/reel/… Brought to you by Nathaniel Tapley

Nathaniel Tapley Sir Ian Bowler, MP Good to see Sir Ian returning to his roots. (Also.... boooo!)