If you're thinking about having a campfire maybe read the room and don't

WELCOME TO GAY WRATH

I would be fucking LIVID. Imagine this fucking X sign right across from your bedroom. #x #twitter

me: what’s crazy is that rudy giuliani first rose to fame because of 9/11 teen born in 2006: ohhh. like he helped do it me: ok no, but i see how you got there

Adam Driver is back in the news, which means it is my sacred duty to repost that time he was in the local newspaper protesting the price of mayo packets.

working on a one word RPG where you just scream FUCK and throw dice at the table until you decide you've won

If kids got raped at Denny’s as often as they get raped at church every Denny’s in the country would get burned to the ground.

#NewProfilePic

Feel a need to return to the dead bird app, partly because I’ve missed shouting into the void and partly because most of the folks I’m around these days don’t get my Futurama and Bob’s Burgers references. Yet I cannot and will not stop.

This is INCREDIBLE. Look what’s happening on Route 4 in Paramus, NJ! 👏

Saying 'she gave up infinite wealth to be herself' like it isn't the most inspiring thing ever.

Dolly Parton could’ve written the communist manifesto but Karl Marx could never have written 9-5

Can a hacker please just drop all the Epstein files at once. We can’t afford another war every time a new batch comes out.

Nice try Covid virus. We ain't doing this again.

Though I’ve never seen evidence of it, I suspect Bea Arthur did in fact have a waist.

I love that people from Massachusetts created the most generous, socialist health care system in all 50 states while also being the most aggressive drivers. They’re like “I want my neighbors to have the best care. They’re gonna need it if they don’t get out of the left lane.”

losing an hour on international women’s day feeling very 75 cents on the dollar

Imagine if WWIII starts with the IDF assassinating Franz Ferdinand.

Tonight, as most nights, I find myself singing to the dog: Don’t go chasing bunny butts Please stick to the rivers and the lakes that you’re used to #songsfordogs #waterfalls #tlc